


cheezus

by SatanicScrewup



Category: Original Work
Genre: Badly Written Crack, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Platonic Luna Dreamcatcher/Zoe Parks | Z0E, Platonic Relationships, Some weird shit, Texting, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-22 09:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15578481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanicScrewup/pseuds/SatanicScrewup
Summary: zoe: Okay, so I translated the hexadecimal code.zoe: It reads ‘blueberry, you absolute twat, I want my jacket back. by you borrowing it I dont mean I want you too keep it forever you cornfuck’.KYLIE: lmao whats a cornfuckl00na: cheezus-or, a crappy chat fic I wrote about my online friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



**LUNA DREAMCATCHER made a group chat.**

**LUNA DREAMCATCHER added ZOE PARKS, KIMKAY, and BLUEBERRY SANS.**

**LUNA DREAMCATCHER renamed the group chat ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**LUNA** : whats up dweebs

**LUNA** : oi why is my username my full name that aint right

 

**LUNA DREAMCATCHER changed their name to l00na.**

 

 **ZOE** : I have a concert soon. I should not be wasting my time here.

 

**l00na** : >:0000

**l00na** : ZOE DO YOU NOT LOVE US

**l00na** : ALL THAT WE WENT THROUGH

 

**ZOE** : That does not change the fact that I am a celebrity.

 

**KIMKAY added KYLIE THE CAT, MITZI FISCHER, FUKA, and LIA KINS to ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**ZOE** : What the fuck. How do you even know their numbers.

 

**MITZI** : i am unnerved.

 

**KIMKAY** :  凸(-V-)凸

 

**FUKA** : owo what is this?

 

**ZOE** : No.

 

**FUKA** : (*´；ェ；`*)

 

**LIA** : You made him sad!!!

**KIMKAY changed ZOE PARKS’S screen name.**

**ZOE PARKS is now asshole.**

 

**asshole:** i hate you all.

 

**hazel has joined the group chat.**

 

**MITZI:** who u

 

**KYLIE:** nobody invited you

 

**hazel:** ..?

**hazel:** ..!!!

 

**hazel:** 62 6c 75 65 62 65 72 72 79 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 61 62 73 6f 6c 75 74 65 20 74 77 61 74 2c 20 49 20 77 61 6e 74 20 6d 79 20 6a 61 63 6b 65 74 20 62 61 63 6b 2e 20 62 79 20 79 6f 75 20 62 6f 72 72 6f 77 69 6e 67 20 69 74 20 49 20 64 6f 6e 74 20 6d 65 61 6e 20 49 20 77 61 6e 74 20 79 6f 75 20 74 6f 6f 20 6b 65 65 70 20 69 74 20 66 6f 72 65 76 65 72 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 72 6e 66 75 63 6b

 

**KYLIE:** ???

 

**hazel:** I’LL KILL YOU, YOZFYVVIV!!!!

 

**hazel has left the group chat.**

 

**BLUEBERRY:** …

 

**MITZI:** wait, that looks like backwards code.

**MITZI:** let me translate it

 

**asshole:** What does it say?

 

**KIMKAY:** ???

 

**MITZI:** it says ‘BLAUBEERE’, which is blueberry in german.

 

**BLUEBERRY:** …………

 

**KIMKAY:** lol blueberry u ded

 

**KIMKAY changed BLUEBERRY’s screen name.**

**BLUEBERRY is now dead.**

 

**dead:** save me hazel is scary with a chainsaw

 

**l00na:** omg luv what did you do???

 

**dead:** I DONT FUCKING KNOW

 

**LIA:** add hazel 

 

**dead added hazel to the chat ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**hazel:** BLUEBERRY

**hazel:** 下衆野郎

**hazel:** それを返す

**hazel:** (‡▼益▼)

 

**asshole:** …   
  


**asshole changed their screen name to zoe.**

 

**dead:** idk what happened tho??

 

**hazel:** you

**hazel: 死ぬ**

**hazel:** lights  **out**

 

**hazel disconnected from ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**FUKA:** wow.

**FUKA:** blueberry what  **did you do??**

 

**dead:** I DON TKNOW BUT THERES NO POWER WHERE I AM I ONLY HAVE WIFI

 

**l00na:** lmao haha

 

**zoe:** Okay, so I translated the hexadecimal code.

**zoe:** It reads ‘ **blueberry, you absolute twat, I want my jacket back. by you borrowing it I dont mean I want you too keep it forever you cornfuck** ’.

 

**KYLIE:** lmao whats a cornfuck

 

**l00na:** cheezus

 

**hazel connected to ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**hazel:** give it back

**hazel:** 返して

**hazel: 返して**

 

**dead:** iDK WHERE IT IS

 

**hazel:** …

**hazel:** vrrrr _ rrrrr _ **_rrrrrr_ **

 

**hazel disconnected from ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**KIMKAY:** oh blueberry youre so dead

 

**dead:** can someone please fini

 

**dead disconnected from ‘ASSHATS’.**

 

**l00na:** ……….

**l00na:** fuka

 

**FUKA:** im not saving him

 

**l00na:** ok

 

\-------------

 

**KYLIE THE CAT renamed the group chat ‘THE CORNFUCK CLUB’.**

 

**MITZI:** was that the only thing you picked up?

 

**KYLIE:** yes

  
  
  
  
  



	2. we the cornfucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LILY: isn't it supposed to be the losers club?
> 
>  
> 
> zoe: Yes.
> 
>  
> 
> KYLIE: no
> 
>  
> 
> l00na: no
> 
>  
> 
> FUKA: Yep
> 
>  
> 
> LILY: i'm confused.

 

**KIMKAY THE PERFORMING DEMON added LILY BALOGH THE CAT to 'THE CORNFUCK CLUB'.**

 

 **LILY:** isn't it supposed to be the losers club?

 

 **zoe:** Yes.

 

 **KYLIE:** no

 

 **l00na:** no

 

 **FUKA:** Yep

 

 **LILY:** i'm confused.

 

 **LIA:** not surprised.

 

* * *

 

 

 **MITZI:** is blueberry okay?

 

 **hazel:** idk?

 

 **dead:** yes

 

**KIMKAY THE PERFORMING DEMON changed dead's screen name.**

**dead is now not dead.**

**not dead:** oof

 

* * *

 

 

**LIA KINS added PASTA MANGLE to 'THE CORNFUCK CLUB'.**

 

 **PASTA:** Hi

 

 **ZOE:** No.

 

 **PASTA:** Well damn

 

* * *

 

 

**KIMKAY THE PERFORMING DEMON renamed the group chat 'demonized dicks beating'**

 

 **MITZI:** what in the actual fuck

 

**FUKA renamed the group chat 'benedick cucumberpatch'**

 

 **LIA:** Now that's a name we can all agree on!!!

 

 **l00na:** http://benedictcumberbatchgenerator.tumblr.com

 **l00na:** Brandybuck Cuckooclock

 

 **not dead:** pffffFFFFF

 

 **hazel:** lmao

 

 **PASTA:** She speaks

 

 **hazel:** i speak

 

* * *

 

 

**l00na added SAVANNAH THE DANCING DEMON to 'benedick cucumberpatch'.**

 

 **l00na:** hi savannah!

 **l00na:** guess what this is!

 

 **SAVANNAH:** 'Benedick Cucumberpatch'.

 **SAVANNAH:** but why.

 

 **not dead:** do not question us.

 **not dead:** we the cornfucks.

 

 **l00na:** we the cornfucks

 

 **PASTA:** we the cornfucks

 

**KIMKAY: we the cornfucks**

 

 **FUKA:** w3 7h3 c02nfuck5

 

 **LIA:** \/\/3 +H3 C0RN FUC|<$

 

 **hazel:** 57 45 20 54 48 45 20 43 4f 52 4e 46 55 43 4b 53 21 21 21 

 

 **SAVANNAH:** why

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twt @satanicscrewup  
> im so sorry this was so short

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this shit
> 
> -
> 
> follow me on twitter @SatanicScrewup


End file.
